My life began complicated. I was born with cerebral palsy. The cause of this was my umbilical cord was wrapped around my throat several times, cutting off oxygen to my brain, which caused damage. My mother didn't see this as a problem, and accepted me as I was. My father, however, did not. He wanted a "perfect" child, and not one that was handicapped, so he despised me from the start.
From as early as I could remember, every time my mother would leave me alone with him, he would beat me, saying he wished I would die, because I was messed up. Me being alone with him turned into a daily thing when I was around five years old, because my mother had found work, so the beatings because a daily thing as well. He told me that if I ever told her where the cuts and bruises came from, he would smother me in my sleep, so I just stayed with my story that I had fallen, and since I had cerebral palsy, my mother didn't question it. I didn't walk on my own until I was four years old, with the aid of leg braces and crutches, so I did fall a lot.
When I was seven years old, by father died from colon cancer, and I thought my life of abuse was over. Mom and I were on our own and doing alright for 8 months. By then I was walking with only leg braces, and could be more of a help to her than a henderance. One day after school, she told me that she had met a guy named Robert, and he would be moving in shortly. She seemed very happy about it, so I didn't think too much about it. A couple months after that, he did move in and things changed for the best. He worked and cleaned up the farm we lived on. We got a nice trailer, and didn't have to worry about the bills. After all of the positive changes I'd saw, I thought, alright, I finally have a decent dad. Wasn't too long after that, everything started going down hill. He lost his temper with mom frequently and stormed out on a regular basis threatening to take everything we had. Sometime before I turned 8, they made up and got married. He then started beating me, saying that he didn't want me there, because I wasn't his own. Mom knew he was beating me, and still kept him around making weak excuses for him. By the time I was nine, I was in and out of the emergency room constantly for broken bones due to the beatings, and social workers started coming to the house. To them, everything seemed fine, so nothing was ever done. The abuse kept up like that until I was 12, then it got worse. One day when mom was out running errands, Robert raped me. He told me that if I ever told anyone, he would kill me, and whomever I had told. From then on, every time mom left the house without me, he raped me. Shortly after that, he started drugging mom, and hurt me while she slept. I was never pregnant, because he was sterile, so mom didnt notice anything was wrong.
By the time I was 14, Robert had gotten me a wedding ring, and said we were going out of state to be married. Every time, I refused and he beat me, but I stayed unmarried. He started losing his temper with gayle around that point, and took it out on me. Mom saw him beating me one day and threw him out of the house. After him calling for two weeks, she let him move back in with us, telling me that he had changed. So, the sexual and physical abuse continued. By the time I was 15, mom abused prescription drugs, and robert had convinced her that I was an out of control teen, so she too, started beating me. My grades dropped from straight A's to F's and the school counselor called social services. Again, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so nothing was done. I couldn't bring myself to say anything for fear that he would kill us.
In 1999, we moved to the city where we live now, and I got my own computer. I was getting ready to graduate from high school, and my neighbor was helping me with the college paperwork, but because of Robert, I didn't get to go to college after graduation. By that time, I had gotten to know my neighbor quite well, and we became friends. She invited me to go to church with her, and after several arguments and beatings with Robert, I was allowed to go.
I felt out of place and stupid at first in church, but the people accepted me, and I found myself going for every meeting. A few weeks after that, I started participating in an online bible study group, where I met several nice ladies, and learned with them. Robert saw this as defiance of his rules, and I was beaten every time he caught me online. It went like that for about 2 years. By then I had gotten saved at my church, and was trying to learn to lean on God through everything. After missing church for a week, my friend came to check on me,and saw first hand what I was going through. She called social services and things were finally done to begin to get me out of that situation. Instead of going to a shelter, I moved in with her and stayed for a month. By that time, I was assigned to a case worker, and several other people, and they were all telling me to go to a shelter, so that I could get help to move out on my own. I was afraid of being on my own, so instead of going to a shelter, I went back home.
I stayed at home for a couple weeks. The first week everything was okay, and I started to think that maybe things were different. During my second week back, mom left to run errands, and Robert tried to rape me, but was unsuccessful. I fought him off, and ran back to my neighbors. She called my caseworker and made a report. The next day, I went to a shelter.
I stayed at the shelter for 3 months, keeping contact with mom and my new online friends through email and posting at the group. After robert was removed from the house permenantly, I returned home, and brought a lady and her 8 kids with me, who had to leave the shelter, and had no where else to go. She stayed with mom and I for about 3 months, and we became good friends. Shortly after she and her kids moved out, Robert started breaking his restraining order, and threatening my life again.
One night he was there, fighting with gayle, and I was locked in my room, on my computer trying to stay out of the way. I was talking to a lady who I barely knew, but had been talking to for a couple weeks, and she knew what was going on at the time. She asked me, if I had a chance to get out, would I.. I thought it was a strange question, but I said that I most definitely would. She asked me if I was sure, and again I said yes. She then gave me a link, and told me to print out an itinerary. This lady and her husband, whom I didn't know, had gotten me a plane ticket, and I was to fly out the next morning. Not having access to a phone, and it wasn't safe for me to leave my room, she looked up a cab company that was close by and sent them to my house. I hurriedly packed a duffel bag and my laptop and jumped out my window and into the cab.
I got at the airport shortly after midnight, and it was closed, but the lady's husband had talked to a security guard there, told him the situation, and I was allowed to spend the night at the airport.
After a nerve wrecking 8 hour flight, I arrived at sea-tac, in Washington State. I moved in with the lady I had talked to online and her husband. (Cyndi and Bob) as well as their daughter, Teresa. I had been there about a week, trying to find a place of my own and other things, when they asked me if I would stay with them permanently, and I said yes.
I stayed there for 7 months, when I got an email from my attorney saying that I had to come back to Kentucky for court, and testify against Robert. I was a mess, but my new family went back with me, and helped me through it. I appeared in court and testified about the physical and sexual abuse he put me through, which was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After my testimony, they found Robert guilty, and he was held for sentencing. I returned to Wa. Shortly before Robert was sentenced, he died of gangrene in both legs.
I got to know my new family as mom, dad and sis, and it finally seemed like everything was alright. After awhile, things deteriorated between Bob and Cyndi and the family split up. I came back to Kentucky, and I live with gayle again, but things are different here from what they used to be. Both Gayle and I are in college, and working together to make ends meet. After I graduate, I intend to return home to Washington to start the next phase of my life. I still stay in contact with Mom, dad and sis, and I intend on seeing them when I get back.
Being that this is thanksgiving, when so many are listing what they are thankful for, its not too hard to guess what I'm thankful for. It's not hard to see in this summary of my life, where God was, and what He's done for me. Through everything, He kept me safe, and provided what I needed, and still continues to do so. "With God all things are possible" rings so true to me.. My past is in the past.. and my future is in progress..
From as early as I could remember, every time my mother would leave me alone with him, he would beat me, saying he wished I would die, because I was messed up. Me being alone with him turned into a daily thing when I was around five years old, because my mother had found work, so the beatings because a daily thing as well. He told me that if I ever told her where the cuts and bruises came from, he would smother me in my sleep, so I just stayed with my story that I had fallen, and since I had cerebral palsy, my mother didn't question it. I didn't walk on my own until I was four years old, with the aid of leg braces and crutches, so I did fall a lot.
When I was seven years old, by father died from colon cancer, and I thought my life of abuse was over. Mom and I were on our own and doing alright for 8 months. By then I was walking with only leg braces, and could be more of a help to her than a henderance. One day after school, she told me that she had met a guy named Robert, and he would be moving in shortly. She seemed very happy about it, so I didn't think too much about it. A couple months after that, he did move in and things changed for the best. He worked and cleaned up the farm we lived on. We got a nice trailer, and didn't have to worry about the bills. After all of the positive changes I'd saw, I thought, alright, I finally have a decent dad. Wasn't too long after that, everything started going down hill. He lost his temper with mom frequently and stormed out on a regular basis threatening to take everything we had. Sometime before I turned 8, they made up and got married. He then started beating me, saying that he didn't want me there, because I wasn't his own. Mom knew he was beating me, and still kept him around making weak excuses for him. By the time I was nine, I was in and out of the emergency room constantly for broken bones due to the beatings, and social workers started coming to the house. To them, everything seemed fine, so nothing was ever done. The abuse kept up like that until I was 12, then it got worse. One day when mom was out running errands, Robert raped me. He told me that if I ever told anyone, he would kill me, and whomever I had told. From then on, every time mom left the house without me, he raped me. Shortly after that, he started drugging mom, and hurt me while she slept. I was never pregnant, because he was sterile, so mom didnt notice anything was wrong.
By the time I was 14, Robert had gotten me a wedding ring, and said we were going out of state to be married. Every time, I refused and he beat me, but I stayed unmarried. He started losing his temper with gayle around that point, and took it out on me. Mom saw him beating me one day and threw him out of the house. After him calling for two weeks, she let him move back in with us, telling me that he had changed. So, the sexual and physical abuse continued. By the time I was 15, mom abused prescription drugs, and robert had convinced her that I was an out of control teen, so she too, started beating me. My grades dropped from straight A's to F's and the school counselor called social services. Again, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so nothing was done. I couldn't bring myself to say anything for fear that he would kill us.
In 1999, we moved to the city where we live now, and I got my own computer. I was getting ready to graduate from high school, and my neighbor was helping me with the college paperwork, but because of Robert, I didn't get to go to college after graduation. By that time, I had gotten to know my neighbor quite well, and we became friends. She invited me to go to church with her, and after several arguments and beatings with Robert, I was allowed to go.
I felt out of place and stupid at first in church, but the people accepted me, and I found myself going for every meeting. A few weeks after that, I started participating in an online bible study group, where I met several nice ladies, and learned with them. Robert saw this as defiance of his rules, and I was beaten every time he caught me online. It went like that for about 2 years. By then I had gotten saved at my church, and was trying to learn to lean on God through everything. After missing church for a week, my friend came to check on me,and saw first hand what I was going through. She called social services and things were finally done to begin to get me out of that situation. Instead of going to a shelter, I moved in with her and stayed for a month. By that time, I was assigned to a case worker, and several other people, and they were all telling me to go to a shelter, so that I could get help to move out on my own. I was afraid of being on my own, so instead of going to a shelter, I went back home.
I stayed at home for a couple weeks. The first week everything was okay, and I started to think that maybe things were different. During my second week back, mom left to run errands, and Robert tried to rape me, but was unsuccessful. I fought him off, and ran back to my neighbors. She called my caseworker and made a report. The next day, I went to a shelter.
I stayed at the shelter for 3 months, keeping contact with mom and my new online friends through email and posting at the group. After robert was removed from the house permenantly, I returned home, and brought a lady and her 8 kids with me, who had to leave the shelter, and had no where else to go. She stayed with mom and I for about 3 months, and we became good friends. Shortly after she and her kids moved out, Robert started breaking his restraining order, and threatening my life again.
One night he was there, fighting with gayle, and I was locked in my room, on my computer trying to stay out of the way. I was talking to a lady who I barely knew, but had been talking to for a couple weeks, and she knew what was going on at the time. She asked me, if I had a chance to get out, would I.. I thought it was a strange question, but I said that I most definitely would. She asked me if I was sure, and again I said yes. She then gave me a link, and told me to print out an itinerary. This lady and her husband, whom I didn't know, had gotten me a plane ticket, and I was to fly out the next morning. Not having access to a phone, and it wasn't safe for me to leave my room, she looked up a cab company that was close by and sent them to my house. I hurriedly packed a duffel bag and my laptop and jumped out my window and into the cab.
I got at the airport shortly after midnight, and it was closed, but the lady's husband had talked to a security guard there, told him the situation, and I was allowed to spend the night at the airport.
After a nerve wrecking 8 hour flight, I arrived at sea-tac, in Washington State. I moved in with the lady I had talked to online and her husband. (Cyndi and Bob) as well as their daughter, Teresa. I had been there about a week, trying to find a place of my own and other things, when they asked me if I would stay with them permanently, and I said yes.
I stayed there for 7 months, when I got an email from my attorney saying that I had to come back to Kentucky for court, and testify against Robert. I was a mess, but my new family went back with me, and helped me through it. I appeared in court and testified about the physical and sexual abuse he put me through, which was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After my testimony, they found Robert guilty, and he was held for sentencing. I returned to Wa. Shortly before Robert was sentenced, he died of gangrene in both legs.
I got to know my new family as mom, dad and sis, and it finally seemed like everything was alright. After awhile, things deteriorated between Bob and Cyndi and the family split up. I came back to Kentucky, and I live with gayle again, but things are different here from what they used to be. Both Gayle and I are in college, and working together to make ends meet. After I graduate, I intend to return home to Washington to start the next phase of my life. I still stay in contact with Mom, dad and sis, and I intend on seeing them when I get back.
Being that this is thanksgiving, when so many are listing what they are thankful for, its not too hard to guess what I'm thankful for. It's not hard to see in this summary of my life, where God was, and what He's done for me. Through everything, He kept me safe, and provided what I needed, and still continues to do so. "With God all things are possible" rings so true to me.. My past is in the past.. and my future is in progress..
Dianne
